Getting Comfortable with Discomfort

I have a confession to make. I love sports. All sports. And not just to watch, but to play. I pride myself on being athletic and I absolutely can’t stand to play any sport poorly. Which is why dear reader, it pains me to tell you that I’m not very good at golf. Actually, I kind of suck.

Now in fairness, (or as a rationalization) I should say that I don’t get to play very often so I never really have much opportunity to improve. And, on the rare occasion that I do play my frustration and lack of confidence in my game makes me tense and a little uncomfortable on the course. As a result, I find that in an attempt to better control my shot I have a tendency to put a “death grip” on my club. This, I’m chagrined to report, does NOT result in a better outcome.

If you’re a golfer I’m sure you know what I mean. However, if you’re not, you might be interested to learn (as I was) that one of the keys to golf success is not keeping a tight grip on the club but rather by loosening your grip. In essence, you need to let go a bit, accept that you can’t control everything and trust that your good swing mechanics will carry your ball to the target. In my case, all this boils down to getting comfortable with a little (emotional) discomfort.

Interestingly, I’ve found this same concept can lead to success in much more than just the game of golf.

For instance, according to respected author and leadership professor Dr. Liz Lemon, one of the hallmarks of a great business leader is her ability to be comfortable with a certain amount of discomfort. Here’s what I mean.

C-suite leaders are often faced with difficult decisions in which there are significant potential risks and limited access to data. Despite these challenges a successful leader must be decisive, all the while projecting an air of confidence and optimism toward employees, shareholders, and other stakeholders.

How do they manage to do this?

Dr. Lemon’s research suggests that great leaders possess a mindset that sets them apart from their peers. They understand and accept that every important decision, whether it’s entering an emerging market, opening an international office, or acquiring a competitor, is fraught with risk and uncertainty. They realize that they cannot control everything and they may never have all the information they need to feel truly comfortable making the decision.  But, perhaps most importantly, they view each decision as a phase, not as a permanent condition. In their view, the decision is part of a process. As time passes they believe that they’ll learn from their action, accrue more information, if necessary modify the plan and ultimately achieve their goal.

So then, here’s what I know. If we too want to be truly great leaders, (or great golfers for that matter) we need to be willing to “loosen our grip” and become comfortable with discomfort.

After all, it’s only a phase.

This much I know.

-Jeanine

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